The Hidden Cost of Never Thanking Yourself

Last week, my wife noticed something about me I'd never seen myself.

"You know what's strange?" she said, watching me work late. "When you do hard things, you never admit they're hard. You act like it's nothing special."

I looked up, confused.

"You push through silently," she continued. "If you succeed, you act like anyone could have done it. If you struggle, you get angry with yourself instead of recognizing the challenge."

Her words hit me like a bucket of cold water. She was right.

The Problem Many of Us Share

For years, my approach to difficult tasks has been simple: shut up and work. Just do it. Don't complain. Push through.

It helped me overcome procrastination and fear. It got me through tough projects and challenging situations.

But something important was getting lost: my joy.

I was building achievement without pride. Gaining success without satisfaction. Completing work without feeling its worth.

I was winning on paper but feeling like a loser inside.

Sound familiar? You're not alone. We've all been trained to push through without complaint.

Why We Fall Into This Trap

When you can't feel proud of your work:

• You start questioning your worth

• Your confidence slowly disappears

• You feel replaceable, even when you're exceptional

• You hold back your unique gifts because "anyone could do this"

I've felt this pain, wondered if what I do matters, and hesitated to share ideas because I didn't value them enough myself.

The cost isn't just personal dissatisfaction. It's depriving the world of your full contributions.

You've probably noticed this pattern too – in yourself or highly capable people around you. The more talented someone is, the more they tend to dismiss their efforts.

It's a shared struggle that rarely gets discussed openly.

The Insight That Changes Everything

You've likely already recognized there are two different paths to getting things done:

The "Grind It Out" Path:

• Pretend it's not hard (even to yourself)

• Force yourself forward like a machine

• Ignore your feelings completely

• Only value the result, never the journey

The "Path of Honor" (what insightful people choose):

• Honestly acknowledge when something is difficult

• Face the challenge with dignity, not denial

• Recognize your courage along the way

• Value both your effort and your results

Both paths can lead to achievement. But only one leads to fulfilment.

You already know which path is better. The challenge is putting that knowledge into practice.

Small Shifts You Already Know How to Make

I'm just beginning this journey, but here are three shifts you've probably intuited already:

1. Speaking truth to yourself After completing something challenging, look in the mirror and say, "That was difficult, but I did it anyway. I'm proud of myself."

2. Letting difficulty exist without shame When something feels hard, simply state: "This is challenging," without adding "but I shouldn't complain."

3. Honouring effort over outcome Value the work itself, not just the results it produces.

This practice is especially crucial during complex periods of life, such as balancing multiple roles and responsibilities, as many of us do.

You already understand that recognizing the weight of what you carry is what makes carrying it an act of strength.

What People Like You Experience

This slight shift in perspective helps thoughtful people like you:

• Feel pride in your work, not just completion

• Connect more deeply with others as you acknowledge their efforts, too

• Maintain discipline while adding meaning to it

• Build sustainable motivation instead of grinding to burnout

The world needs people who recognize their value, speak with earned confidence, and share their gifts without diminishing them.

You already have these gifts. The shift is in letting yourself fully acknowledge them.

When one of us learns to honour our efforts, it creates permission for others to do the same.

A Practice Worth Your Time

This week, try something that leverages your natural ability to acknowledge value:

1. Choose one challenging task you need to accomplish

2. Before starting, acknowledge: "This is difficult, and that's okay."

3. Complete the task with your full effort

4. Afterwards, look in a mirror and say: "That was hard, and I did it anyway. I honour that effort."

You'll likely discover what many insightful people have found: acknowledging difficulty doesn't weaken you – it actually highlights your strengths.

We can be disciplined and successful without sacrificing our ability to feel proud of our work.

Would you share your experience with this practice? Hit reply. I read every message and value your insights. Your experience might help others who are walking the same path.

Until next week, Alex

P.S. You'll recognize when you're in "grind mode" by tension in your shoulders, impatience with others, or feeling that nothing you do is good enough. These are signals from your wise inner self that it's time to acknowledge your effort.